“She was cold and lonely” painting by Amanda Dalmas
It means nothing to me without your approval. (more of a rant than a poem)
All the fame in the world will not make me happy unless you are there to share it with me. All the glamor and gold are not shinny to me any more because you are not willing to share it with me. All I want is for you to acknowledge that I am worthy of your love. I worship you. No other compares to you.
I feel alone and isolated. I don’t even desire to make new friends because they are not you. My soul is devoid of laughter. Food is tasteless and I’m losing my sense for hunger.
I’m hanging on by a threads of tears. Nothing is enjoyable. I don’t know what to do with you. You impossible, immovable you. Even tea cups and cakes don’t appeal to me right now. I wish this would pass me by but it won’t. I wish I could kick you out of my heat but I can’t.
I will probably never be good enough for you. I’m too old, fat, and not ambitious enough for you. You can’t see that weight can be lost, that age is just a number, and I am more ambitious than you want to get to know about. I am the annoying one. I can’t stop bothering you. I can’t stop my fingers from texting you.
My bed is empty by choice because you refuse to fill that void. You say you care, but then toss me aside. You say you like me just the way I am, then give me a laundry list of things for me to change. I can’t stop crying. Is there any hope for us? I don’t know why I keep asking that. I never win with you.