I still can’t believe it’s gone…

A second sad ramble about a campsite that stole my heart.

Gone….all gone but that shitty boy-scout firepit ring. On the eve of some new adventure, I keep coming back to this picture in awe of the disrespect that was done here. I don’t know which is worse….that damn fire pit, that you would have hated too. Or, the fact that the campsite is gone.

I felt as if I had watched the Colosseum in Rome go from it’s glory days, straight into it’s crumble and fall, in a matter of seconds. I watched a legacy die…all in one breath.

Fuck, my heart is heavy. I must let it go…but again, my heart is laden with misery over this insult. I feel like a whinny, little bitch. The memories live on…but there are always those “but’s.”

It’s almost been a year since you died and I’m still in shock. I want to go over it in my mind, over and over again. I did the paces and I don’t understand any more than anyone else.

It’s funny… I saw a sign that you were still around. There were signs. And then there were very real signs. You always spoke of goddesses of women just sauntering around in the woods…who would just happen upon you and fuck you silly. These “Goddesses”of woman appeared before my eyes. I knew what you would have done…and maybe I did invite them to stay…but it was not my sign..it was for you of course. So I knew you were hanging around.

Also you’re style is not my style. So I let them pass. I also realized I’m not seventeen anymore. I did some really stupid maneuvers in the woods that I should not have. Next time, I will be more cautious and not like you.

I have a few books published on Amazon. My newest book is called, “The Firestorm of Tears.”

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